?

Log in

May 2011   01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
Posted on 2011.05.31 at 17:37
Who was born in a house full of pain
Who was trained not to spit in the fan
Who was told what to do by the man
Who was broken by trained personnel
Who was fitted with collar and chain
Who was given a pat on the back
Who was breaking away from the pack
Who was only a stranger at home
Who was ground down in the end
Who was found dead on the phone
Who was dragged down by the stone

Who was dragged down by the stone!

Posted on 2011.01.09 at 15:19
IT Crowd Series 4 on Netflix!

That is all.

Posted on 2010.12.29 at 14:23
Corey is sad...

Also, Voltaire is the only man alive who can make me like country music.

We gots a car, bitch!

Posted on 2010.04.11 at 18:23
This is our Yaris, and we love it.Collapse )

Announcement!

Posted on 2010.02.23 at 08:05
I'd just like to bring everyone up to date on the fact that my beautiful, radiant fiancée Toni and I are now in an open relationship. So if you ever wanted my cock, hop on board!

I'm just kidding, of course. Not about the open relationship, that one's real. I'm kidding about people from LJ wanting sex with me. I happen to know for a fact that nobody who still reads my journal is into me like that, which makes this the perfect venue for the announcement. If I'd let that slip on FA, my inbox would be flooded with offers, mostly from guys. And I don't want to seem like I'm advertising.

Toni and I both feel that it'll be good for us to branch out and screw other people once in a while to remind us of how bad everyone else is in bed. Not exactly, but close... it'll build our trust, help alleviate our individual frustrations, and I already feel so much closer to her... I know this seems like a trap that'll get us in the end, but my jealousy is all gone now. It's gonna be good.

And I honestly think Toni having sex with other people is pretty hot. The course of action we've taken isn't for most people, but we know it's right for us.


Why the hell is Mick Jagger famous?

Posted on 2010.01.23 at 23:36
He's not tone deaf, but as far as I can tell, that's his only musical virtue. At least Robert Plant had a range, Roger Waters was fucking brilliant, Ian Anderson was pretty amazing all around, but listen to Jumping Jack Flash sometime and ask yourself what Jagger really had going for him. He's not Dylan bad, but Dylan at least had the decency to be about more than chicks and cars and the devil and shit.

SERIAL DICK-KICKER CONTINUES TO EVADE JUSTICE

Posted on 2009.10.01 at 21:08
AOL News
posted: 3 HOURS AGO
comments: 21
filed under: WEIRD NEWS
PRINT|E-MAILMORE
Text SizeAAA
(Oct. 1) -- For the past three days, the streets of the small town of Wilbur, Washington have been inhabited by a man who seems to have made a personal agenda to devote his every waking moment to kicking male passers-by in the penis, casually strolling away after he does so. Yet, after having dick-kicked reportedly more than two hundred unsuspecting citizens thus far, he has yet to be brought up on formal charges.

A somewhat well-known accountant from the community, Paul Abrahams claimed his first victim in the afternoon of September 28th, just hours after having been laid off from his job at Stubbs & Co. His target, 28-year-old Gavin Nessiun, was stunned by the event, but strangely relieved afterward.

"I can't explain how he does it," Nessiun admitted, in a bewildered tone. "He, like, misses your balls completely when he kicks you. Really, I was just so relieved that he missed them, I wasn't even mad about it anymore."

Nessiun's opinion of the experience seems to be shared by every one of Abrahams's latter victims.

"I think a lot of us are just grateful, we expected so much worse," said Gary Johnstone, general manager of a local Domino's Pizza and one of Abrahams's latest targets. "Personally, even though I do share that sentiment, I think I'm more impressed than anything. That sort of skill - to circumvent the balls and hit the cock every time is pretty amazing."

Johnstone went on to admit that, though formidable, Abrahams's rare talent will probably do very little to ease his financial woes.

"It's not marketable," he said, "but it's just too extraordinary to sit at home and not kick guys' dicks."

Posted on 2009.10.01 at 17:11

Few and Far-Between Style Update

Posted on 2009.06.04 at 18:17
So, brief update for those of you who still exist here and remember who I am.

I've finally managed to move out of my parents' house! Sadly, I moved right into their parents' house, or what was their house back when they were alive. My girlfriend and I drove here from Kansas City in a U-Haul, which was a horrible experience, especially given the amount of time I've spent on interstates in the past (none whatsoever). Not complaining, though! It's a damn house, after all, and it's a lot cheaper than any apartment would have been.

I have to say though, even with that little discount, it's expensive to live on your own. Like, a lot more expensive than I'd have expected. And it's even more troublesome not to have any marketable skills... As much as my new job is a blessing for me at the moment, I don't want to be an overnight porter at Burger King for the rest of my life.

I guess what I'm getting at is, if you know anyone who wants to buy some swords, or a Jawbone bluetooth earpiece, let them know who's got the hookup. I already tried Craigslist.

It'd be really nice if everyone who owes me money just showed up on our porch and at least made a down payment... I doubt they'd all fit though, there must be more than ten people I can name with outstanding debts. And two or three of those truly are outstanding.





Sheep is the best song ever. I know there is a deeper meaning, but if you take it at face value, it is literally about sheep learning karate.

Sheep.

Posted on 2009.06.04 at 18:15
The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
He makes me down to lie
Through pastures green he leadeth me the silent waters by.
With bright knives he releaseth my soul.
He maketh me to hang on hooks in high places.
He converteth me to lamb cutlets,
For lo, he hath great power, and great hunger.
When cometh the day we lowly ones,
Through quiet reflection, and great dedication
Master the art of karate,
Lo, we shall rise up,
And then we'll make the buggers eyes water.


Previous 10